Happy about it or not, today is Valentine's Day! Many people have written about what the holiday could be or should be, but today I write to tell you about the change God has brought about in my heart. I guess it's my personal valentine's gift from the Father.
My story starts several years ago when I was in the midst of many "firsts" that a love relationship can bring. I remember a conversation with my family - about flowers. I selfishly declared that I preferred an elegant bouquet delivered to my door straight from an uppity florist shop in town, as opposed to a pack of haphazardly assembled stems from a local grocery or department store. In my mind, high quality gifts were a display of soaring affection.
Today, on a snowy Valentine's Day, I received a bouquet of roses from my dear husband. My heart is overflowing with gratitude, and I keep smiling when I look at them. They weren't delivered to my door by some fancy florist. They didn't come in swirly wrapping with a dreamy bow attached. They were, in fact, picked out by yours truly at............... wait for it.................. Aldi! These pink roses [I chose the color :)] looked like they had been mishandled, possibly squashed too tightly with other flowers, had tinges of brown on the edges of the petals, and had probably been sitting in that grocery store for a day too long. And yet, the sentiment meant just as much as if I had received them from SomeFancyPlaceUpTown. I might have even received a little extra joy, because I got to arrange them myself! :)
What had changed? It was NOT simply the fact that we have been married almost 3 years. Because, trust me, I don't believe that as the anniversary number rises, the quality of appreciative sentiments deserves to decline. It's that I was seeing those roses through different lenses.
You see, it's been a difficult winter financially. Steady, good paying jobs seem hard to come by out here right now. Dustin is down to a couple days of work per week, at an income lower than we were used to in Lancaster. After several months of that, your perspective begins to change. I find myself so aware of needs around me. My heart stings when I see a child with matted hair and a too small, too thin jacket on a subzero winter day. I ache with the man in line behind me buying only a pack of hotdogs and bread, looking longingly at the foods I throw on the belt. Where were these people when our bank account had a bit more cushion? I simply didn't see them.
The "tinges of brown" in our lives, are enough to increase our gratefulness significantly. I'm embarrassed it took such drastic measures to get my attention. God has a plan. From the world's point of view, they would think we've made decisions that are slightly crazy - leaving behind the promise of good paying jobs, etc. to move into unfamiliar territory. But we look at it through God's eyes. We know He has a reason for calling us to this place at this time. For now, we trust. Lest you think I'm being lofty and pious, it's more like gritting our teeth, squeezing shut our eyes, and hanging on for dear life! :)
So, even though Valentine's day is over, go BLESS someone! Speak life! Spark a smile! You may think what you have to offer is less than best, but your tinges of brown may be just what someone else needs. You don't have to have a lover to enjoy Valentine's day. Just find someone you love, and spread a little joy.
*Small side note: (I never would have thought I'd say this) but I think the most romantic thing he did for me was help me clean the house in preparation for Sunday lunch guests!! :) Now we ARE an old married couple. :)
